Two Gun Mathilda was born an inexperienced suckling somewhere out west - no one really knows where for sure - at the ripe young age of just barely. Despite her propensity to cheat, masturbate, and/or steal, Two Gun was a very pleasant baby. At the age of just a few days, having mastered both object permanence and gun safety, Two Gun was delivered a gift from the heavens - a premonition, as it were. Maybe it was delivered by god, maybe it was delivered by Crispin Glover, and maybe it was delivered by Dominos. It said, "nasty wool pull is garden large. Must for to go to be in the big fool pool. You will have air of to go, with not, but do. In your belly, is present." Evidently the premonition had been written by a non-American or an ex-patriot (and/or both), but Two Gun didn't mind. She translated it to the best of her ability and ran with it. She ran like something that runs very fast.

She ultimately realized the scope of her future. She was destined for greatness - and she knew it. After twenty something years of subtext - and studying of her prophesy, Two Gun was ready for the big city. She was welcomed with open arms....

Two Gun Mathilda is presently getting her associates C.A.D. (Court Artistry Degree) at city college. She is studying with famed Court Artist, David Wayne. She is also taking classes at the New School in Court Jester-y. There, she is studying with famed 16th century Court Jester Renee Von Zelo.

Two Gun Mathilda has also recently been a big fan of selling things. Although she has never successfully done so, upon being asked why she would like to sell things, Two Gun was quoted saying, "I like to buy things and I think I could sell them."

If anyone would like for Two Gun to try to sell something of theirs, please e-mail her at sales at twogunmathilda dot com.

So I guess that Two Gun's mission is to be the best student court artist/court jester that she can be - and to eventually sell something.

Two Gun has also tried her hand at Theater. If any future prospects would like to take their chance on Two Gun's theatrical head shot or resume (or even her professional resume for that matter), simply e-mail her at shamelessselfpromotion at twogunmathilda dot com.

Two Gun also enjoys a whiskey now and again. She tries not to make a habit out of it however.

If you would like to ask Two Gun Mathilda for advice on any subject - she is remarkably well versed in subject. Please send all inquiries/concerns/hate-mail/advice-requests to advice at twogunmathilda dot com.

Thanks, and have a blessed day, Two Gun Mathilda (Devotee of the third person)

And please! Sign her guestbook - for the love of god!
She's been getting tons of 'hits' to the site - and thus would like to know, 
"who the hell are you people?!"

(It is located on the main page in the text links in yellow — you can get there by clicking the button below..)